Social pressure

We've come to realize that not having children it's totally fine. We are parents anyway and we're absolutely OK with it. To be candid, my poor friends who had a baby (or more than 1) are much more stressed than me and don't seem to be super happy about sleep deprivation, diapers and the overall challenges of first-time parenthood.

I am now free from the slavery of social pressure:

"What about you? No children?"
"Nope, we have Orlando and it's just fine the way it is"
"Well, if you don't have kids now ..."
"I can live without kids. We don't want to go through tests. If I get pregnant it's ok, if not it's ok either"
[....]

And the conversation dies. Sometimes it doesn't even start as they stop after the second line.

I'm not saying this because we've tried but haven't succeeded but because I am now aware of the amount of social pressure that lies behind all the pregnancy-related articles, conversations etc. After a few years I've realized that being a mom shouldn't be a social duty and, moreover, it's not what I really want. As I said, if it's going happen it's fine otherwise ... I can live without a baby but not without a dog   or without G. so... no problem.

It's so liberating to recognize that yes, I am 37 and yes, I probably have 2-3 more years and: I DON'T CARE!

We are fine?

My mum is heading to Venice.

G. is at work.

I'm at home on my own.

Pictures of big boy everywhere. He constantly keeps an eye on me, I know that.

Yesterday I got a phone call from R.

Hey, I would have preferred to see you but... we didn't make it so: I'm pregnant with twins

with twins??

Yeah!

Twins in the family? I didn't know it!

Yes, my grandma.

Oh my God, R.! I can't believe it. This is wonderful news.

It is. We are quite thrilled and a bit scared to be honest but yeah, I just wanted to share the news with you.

She is 37 and had a brain tumor a few years ago so... I didn't expect the news. R and S. are lovely people and I'm so happy for them even though I hate being surrounded by pregnant women. Sometimes I can't stand it because the underlying question is: and you? And me... what? It's just not happening AND it's not "socially required". It seems that the vast majority of women I know are either pregnant or  have kids. Well, this is not entirely true. Some of them are not expecting and don't think about pregnancy. 

Anyway, it's not happening. Period. It's ok. I'm (almost) fine with it. I just don't like to be asked about it.  

So: R. is pregnant, E. is pregnant, L. just had a baby boy.

I am NOT expecting and this is OK. please stop thinking/asking about it. We are fine.

A huge amount of work needed

Oh my God!

I've just realized that in order to meet ALL the deadlines a huge amount of work is needed. This means that I shall be working all weekends except for THIS coming weekend as it's our anniversary (we would have liked to go somewhere but the weather forecast is dreadful so we'd rather stay and home and celebrate with big boy).

I don't even know where to start as I definitely don't have time for the amount of work which is due by March. In any case, I won't cut Pilates ;) 

Ok, there's no need to panic. But still... am I going to make it?!

I hate working on Saturday as G. is at home. Perhaps I could work only in the morning while he sleeps. This might be good idea.

Before I go back to work, let me just say something that has nothing to do with work, deadlines etc. 

Conceiving is not as "easy" as we excepted and, believe or not, I am fine with it. I'm not stressed out anymore. That said, I have taken my doctor advice and I am now checking my ovulation & taking folic acid (it helps fertility and prevents spina bifida). I hope this is going to work. If not, I'm not sure we want to undergo fertility tests. Anyway, it's too early now. We need monitor ovulation, try a bit more, then we'll take a decision.  

My doctor told me that "getting pregnant is never easy" and that I shouldn't be stressed. Well, I am not and I trust her. She is 41 and just had a baby so she knows exactly how challenging is conceiving when one is not in her mid twenties anymore.