Thursday, January 31, 2013

Long post (no editing, sorry about that)

Orlando is sleeping so I guess I can sit down and update the blog now.
So, how's life?

I've really busy + sick (again!) lately. Not very sick though. G. got sick at the end of last week and I caught a bad cold from him. I've never been so sick before. I mean, usually I catch a cold in winter season but not a such a bad cold and not twice! I wonder if this relates to my diet. I ate more meat last year (but never more than 2 times a week) and, for the very first time in 36 years, I had a flu and two cold in a row. When I didn't eat meat at all, I didn't even catch a sore throat, let alone a cold. Perhaps it's a combination of factors: a) a great amount of stress + b) "new" diet  + c) no pilates. It's just too hard for me to fit pilates at the moment. 

Anyway, I'd better recover as soon as possible as I have to deal with many things. My immune system seems to be weak, I have to strengthen it.

On a different note, I had a good time in Brussels despite the cold, the wind and the snow :-( Quite cold indeed but my hotel was close to the venue so it wasn't a big deal. I didn't jump into someone I mentioned elsewhere which was good. Next trip will be in Venice and then in Prague in April.

I don't feel energetic. I do need a holiday but this has become more a mantra rather than something that could actually happen. I do also need to spend more qualitative time with G. but we're both busy and Orlando completely absorbs our free time. He sleeps at granny's house, by the way. For reasons we can't explain, he sleeps more there. He tries to jump on her bed but at least he doesn't bother her before 6:30 a.m. and sometimes he even sleeps until 7:30. So now my mum comes to get him at 11:00 p.m. and we sleep until 7. I can tell you that it makes a big difference. 

Having Orlando is like having a baby. If I don't get pregnant, it's ok. I can't even imagine looking after a puppy AND a baby. However, I'd lie if I told you that I don't think about pregnancy anymore. When I was a teenager I though that I would never be a mother. I don't know why, it was just an intuition that never abandoned me. Until a few years ago, I was ok with it. Now that the biological clock tics loudly, I have changed my mind. I'm not fond of kids, to be honest. Usually, they get on my nerves. On the contrary, I am immensely patient with dogs (and this is G's mantra: "you are much more patient with dogs than with humans, let alone with kids"!). However, I know that something is missing in my life. But there's nothing I can do about it and we're not keen on going through tests etc. so I just have to cope with the fact that we've been trying for a long time but it hasn't worked. Period. I'm not depressed but there's a sadness in my heart that doesn't go away. 

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


Oh my. I've just found out that my "first" (or second?!) love is on FB and has married a girl who is the total opposite of the type he liked when he was younger. I mean, exactely the opposite. And he has grown up children too! Wow, what a change. I guess I had in mind a completely different picture of him. Or perhaps I was stuck with a teenager image that doesn't match up with the current "version". Sometimes FB is creepy, isn't it? You jump into someone who belongs to your past and ...bum! You face the new reality of things: your "ex" gets old, is in a long-term marriage and has kids. He looks so different.

I wonder if I do so different too. 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Feeling blue

I don't know what's going on but I don't feel good. Actually, I feel a bit depressed. There must be a reason. I kind of know what it is but this is not enough to justify stomach ache on a daily basis, especially in the morning and a general feeling of sadness. I also feel antisocial which is new to me.  I've been like this for quite a few days now and it's hard to get things done as I would lay on the couch with a hot drink and book, period. Everything else disturbs me except for Orlando and G. I don't feel like seeing friends but I "have to", I don't feel like working but I have to and I must admit that I'm behind schedule. I'll catch up at some point. 

I guess I just need a holiday to get myself together. However, this is NOT an option....

** let me just add that I probably need a change. I would apply for a job in the U.K. but G. is not enthusiastic about it.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Surprisingly enough

(maybe not, after all)

I'm reading THIS and I find it fascinating.

I am back #2

I've just realized that I need to plan carefully all the things that need to be done in the following months otherwise I'll end up being overwhelmed pretty soon. 

It's getting difficult to work at home as Orlando needs lots of attention & exercise. This morning, after  a 30-minute run in the garden, he slept for like an hour and then he was ready for another "running session". However, he can't stay in the garden alone. Even if he has improved, he still chews and swallows things he shouldn't eat so someone has to stay outside with him which is not ideal. He has high level of energies which is both good and bad. It is good because he is funny and extremely vital, it's bad because I mainly work at home and I obviously need to focus. Sometimes I just can't as it's like having a hyperactive child who runs around and wants to play all the time. Luckily, we can rely on my mum and  my uncle but sometimes I wonder what we would do if they fell seriously ill. 

On a more positive note, I'm looking forward to a couple of trips: one to Brussels and the second to Prague. In Brussels I'll reconnect with friends I haven't seen for a long time and Prague is a wonderful city so I'm thrilled to go with G. 
To be honest, I do have bad memories of Brussels but I'll be pretty busy so they won't haunting me. I hope I won't bump into someone I am not keen to meet who lives in Brussels though. If I bump into this person, I promise I'll share the whole story here. 

I am also organizing an important event in Milan. It's for my job and I'm charge of it... I'm nervous about it but I'm sure things will work out ok. The event is scheduled for April and everything has to be almost "perfect"... I have my fingers crossed.

Monday, January 7, 2013

I am back

I've been sick (while on holiday... lucky me) for a while and I'm still recovering. Nothing serious, just a bad cold that doesn't go away. I am still suffering from nasal congestion and I feel a lack of energy, especially today that I'm back at work! Anyway, we've all been ill except for G.  
This short post is just to let you know that I have only 1 big resolution for this new year: 

write more!

This entails writing more here and reading and writing more for my job (part of my job involves writing  papers and articles). I'm also thinking of writing a book but it has to be written in English so I'm carefully pondering the idea. It's a lot of work and at the moment I don't have enough time. I'll be working non-stop until my birthday (early April) when I'll take a break and go to Prague with G. for a few days. After this trip life is going to be like hell (again) until, I guess, end of July. Unless I want to spend August working, the book needs to be postponed. 

So, I'll write more and I also want to catch up with your blogs. 

I hope you had a lovely break.