When I was younger, so much younger than today

I’ve always been super engaged with someone since the age of 15. Ok, I know “engaged” is not the right word as it involves a wedding and I am not married. I’m using this word to emphasize that my love stories have always been very serious and important (BOOORING, isn’t it?!).  At the age of 15 I met a guy 6 years older than me in Mexico. We were there on holiday and fell in love. C. lived in Milan and we dated for … 5 years. I thought he was “the one” but then I met G. at the University and changed my mind. But I’m not concerned with C. or G. here but with another G., GG.

I’ve never shared this on the blog, I think, so let me give you a bit of a background.

Why am I concerned with GG.? Because when I think of my first real love, my mind goes to GG. and not to C. who came first and with whom I shared 5 years of my teenager life.

GG. and I were classmates and best friends. He was tall, slim, nice and very funny.  He was nice but I wouldn’t say beautiful, definitely sexy though. He was a muscle boy who lived in the countryside and loved horse riding. He did have a very serious love story too but had also a crush on me. And I had a bad crush on him. We spent at least 2 years sending “bigliettini” back and forth. Namely, when mobile phones didn’t exist, we used small sheets of paper (bigliettini, in Italian) to communicate during class.

At the beginning the “bigliettini” were nothing important but one day he wrote me something like “I have to admit that I like you so much” and I blushed got quite excited about it. So, it was not just me: he liked me too. From that very moment on  the “bigliettini” took a different turn.

I like your dress

I like your body, your legs etc.

This kind of stuff.

Every single day I dressed up for him BUT I dated someone else.

Every single day he wrote me dirty things but he was engaged with S.

We are 19. We finish 5 years of high school. Let’s throw up a party at GG.’s house. A week before GG. and S. broke up but I am still with C.

Some good music is on and we start dancing. GG. dances with me, hugs me and drags me in a corner. We kiss and touch for a long time and I feel damned good. I don’t feel “guilty” at all, actually, I feel great and one week later we meet again. And then we meet again and make love in my car.

And then?

Nothing happens. The story dies after the love making thing. I liked it, he liked it but we don’t want a “story”, we were just curious about each other and we are aware that we don’t want to spend months, let alone, years together. 

What strikes me about all this is that I can’t recollect the first time I made love (it was with C.) but I remember well the one and only time I made love with GG. I also remember how much I liked him, it was quite a strong feeling.  Have I even seen him again? Yes, but I’ll leave it for another post.

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